Come back to me
by stanafuckingkatic
Summary: AU. It's been seven years and so much has changed. Has too much happened over their time apart? He isn't her professor anymore and she's not his love-struck student. Eventually M. & Caskett
1. Chapter 1

The dark of the morning cloaked over the city thickly, purple and orange threading in jaggard patches through the creme' coloured curtains adorning the windows. Irrevescent shapes illuminated across the room, falling across the bed and the lone figure laying across the centre of the bed snugly.

A shrill beeping pierced the silent of the night, jolting Kate from her slumber with a start. Hands immediately went to the fabric adorning her eyes and flinging it across the room with an unattractive grunt, it skidden across the empty side of the bed before toppling to the floor near her hardwood drawers.

Reaching for her phone that was still insisting on her attention, Kate swiped her thumb across the screen and turned the alarm off. Taking her phone into the kitchen with her, Kate shook her hair loosely out of the loose ponytail that had become askew during the night. Grabbing her silk robe off the back of a chair and wrapping it around her snugly to keep the cold air from travelling underneath her loose clothing. Kate made her way down the dark hallway and through to her kitchen, immediately making her way to her electronic coffee dispenser and switching it on so that it could start brewing. Grabbing 2 bagels from the fridge and beginning to prepare her breakfast before she made her way to work.

The sun was just starting to peak out when Kate's phone started to go off again, she half-walked/hopped whilst she tried in vain to put on her heels. Kate quickly picked up the device and answered it breathlessly.

"This is Kate Beckett,"

Kate talked to the person on the other end of the line as she finished getting ready, running back into her bedroom to grab her handbag and pager, turning off her bedroom light as she made her way back into the kitchen.

"Oh shit! Oh shit!" Kate gasped, as a burnt smell made it's way towards her.

Turning the toaster off at the wall, the charcoal coloured pieces of bread shot out of the toaster and landed on the bench next to her with a clatter. Muttering under her breath, Kate picked up the hot pieces of bread gingerly before throwing them into the bin underneath the bench.

"Katie...are you still there?" The voice on the other end spoke loudly.

Jumping slightly, Kate bit her lip to stifle a frustrated groan as she focused her attention back to the person on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, look I have to go. Thank you for ringing I'll make sure to swing by on my break, if I can manage to take one. If not I'll drop in after my shift, okay?" Kate said quickly.

Turning back to the opposite bench, Kate nodded more to herself than the caller. Spotting her coffee in the jug, she hung up the phone and grabbed her coffee holder and filled it to the brim, a brief smile flitted across her lips as she thanked her lucky stars that she at least had a decent coffee before she flew into the world of chaos. Squatting down slightly, she sipped a decent amount so that she could fit her lid on.

"Mmmhmm who needs a man when there's coffee?" She breathed.

_Uhh__ well, I'm sure sex would be better than coffee._

Laughing throatily Kate slung her bag over her shoulder and picked up her keys before turning back to her coffee and picking that up. _What would I know? It's been so long since I've had sex._

"They've probably changed it." She muttered under her breath.

Locking her front door behind her, Kate double checked the locks like she did everytime before making her way towards her car.

Kate made her way inside the automatic doors, pulling her coat tighter around her when she was met with a freezing cool breeze. Heading straight towards the elevator and punching the up arrow repeatedly.

"Whoa taking out your sexual frustration on the elevator button helps no one, girl." Winked a woman that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. "

God, Lanie! You're so crass." Kate scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Her fingers jabbed at the button a few more times when it still had not opened. Lanie watched Kate with a wry smile tugging at her lips, taking a bite out of her breakfast donut (technically dinner since she was just finishing up her own shift.) Finally the elevator arrived and opened before them quickly to reveal an empty elevator.

Stepping in quickly, Kate took a swig of her coffee when her stomach growled at her in protest. I'll just pick up something from the vending machine when I get to the fourth floor. Lanie pressed both of the floors she knew they'd be taking, settling next to Kate and taking the last sip of her caramel latte before turning to Kate and offering her the box of donuts with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh no, no I'm right Lanes." She said softly.

"Hey, I know you wouldn't of had time to eat this morning-" Lanie said, pausing when Kate was about to interrupt her. Pointing her empty coffee cup at her before she continued "And I was going to take this up to the nurses station anyway for everyone, so just have one before I make you have one." She slightly shook the box of sweets in front of her.

Kate smirked as she reached her hand into the box of delicious treats; bagels, donuts and even a few fruit pies. "Yes nurse..." She taunted.

Lanie laughed, closing the lid tightly and resting her cup on the lid. "I might as well be... I take care of you enough to be fully qualified." She jostled.

Taking a big bite out of the strawberry stuffed donut, she gaped at her friend in mock horror.

"Ouch."

Licking her top lip to rid the cinammon mustache that the donut gave her, Kate then focused her attention back on her coffee; taking a healthy swig to wash down the sweet sticky sensation coating her throat. A loud, distinct ringing noise then filled the room and Kate swore under her breath, well as much as she could with her mouth filled with liquid. Swallowing quickly, Kate gasped from the slight burn the liquid left down her throat and tongue. Looking down at her preoccupied hands, she groaned softly.

"Can you grab that?" Kate asked Lanie, motioning to her right pocket with her head.

"Sure, girlfriend." Lanie nodded, placing the items in her own hands on the floor in front of her.

Grabbing the offending little item out of her black pinstriped pants, she read it quickly before holding it up in front of Kate's eyes. "They need you in OR2, babe. Jared Harrison needs emergency surgery."

"What? Oh shit!" Stuffing the last bite of her donut into her mouth, she slammed her hand against the button repeatedly in frustration. "Come on!"

7 hours later - **2pm**

Sitting in the break room, Kate was going over the chart in her hands for the fourth time in an hour. Her white coat draped over the chair behind her and a steaming fresh mug of coffee set up in front of her. A plastic container dropped on top of the chart in front of her and sprang open from impact, a turkey and mayo rollgreeting her. Turning her head and rolling her eyes with a small smile on her lips when she recognised who had just taken up habitat next to her.

"Hey Javi," She greeted him, leaning back in her chair whilst her fingers played with the edges of the plastic containing her meal.

He offered her a small smile before taking another large bite from his own chicken and chilli roll. She knew she should eat but she just didn't think that her stomach could handle anything right now. Definitely not something that had such a thick and creamy topping smothered through it.

Leaving her roll for the moment Kate focused her attention on her coffee, wrapping the fingers of her right hand around the warm ceramic mug, she let out a soft sigh at the calming effect it had on her.

"Rough morning?" Javi spoke quietly, his head turned slightly as he watched her.

Kate choked out a laugh; scratching the back of her neck with her free hand before looking back down at the chart beneath her lunch. "Rough week."

Digging in her pocket she fished out her phone, unlocking it she saw that she had 3 missed calls from within the last 5 hours. Her thumb hovered over the number glaring at her accusingly.

_Am I that work obsessed that I can't take 10 minutes to make a simple phone call?_

Her pager beeped at her loudly, drawing her attention away from the phone in her grasp. Locking her phone and putting it in her pocket, Javier passed her her pager that was sitting next to him.

"I have to go...thanks for lunch." Pressing a kiss to her fingers and patting his head with them before picking up her coat and putting it on, shoving her pager and turkey roll in her pockets then running out the door.

**10pm**

Opening the side gate Kate made her way through the back garden and towards the back door. Knocking quietly once, Kate then pulled her keys out and unlocked the door pushing it open slowly. In the dark of the night it creaked loudly and rudely as if it was trying to advertise her arrival. Flicking the back light off and shutting the door as quietly as she could before leaning back against the the wood briefly.

Letting out a sigh and standing up properly, Kate noticed that the kitchen light was on. Walking down the hall as silently as she could and then turning right to go through the doorway. Sitting up at the kitchen bench in her pajamas with some tea and biscuits reading an article on politics was her mother.

"Just a little light reading before bed..."Kate commented quietly, a small smile smile teasing her lips.

Johanna looked up from the magazine in front of her and smiled gently at her daughter. "Long shift?" She asked.

Kate moved further into the kitchen and stopped just before her mother; pressing a kiss to her cheek and giving her a one armed hug. "Yeah, sorry I'm late. Where is she?"

Johanna stood and lead the way through the other doorway into the family room. Stopping near the head of the couch, she motioned to the figure half-sitting/half-laying against the cushions fast asleep. "She wanted to wait up for you but fell asleep around 8pm."

Kate felt a pang in her chest, like someone had just squeezed her heart too tight. Taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly she took the last remaining steps and gently picked her up so as to not wake her up. Johanna went around to the other side of the couch to pick up her bag and a few of her things.

"I'll go put Emma's things in the car."

Kate nodded at her mother before following her slowly through the house and back out the way she had come. Settling Emma into the backseat; making sure her head was leaning against the back comfortably, Kate then adjusted the seatbelt straps so that they weren't twisted or digging into her.

Standing back up and turning towards Johanna who had just put Emma's things in the boot of the car. Wrapping her arms around her gently and hugging her close. "Thanks for today, mum. I really appreciate it." She said softly.

Johanna shook her head, reaching out and gently squeezing her daughters cheek in affection. "Anytime honey, okay? I love you."

"Me too."

She blew her a kiss before shutting Emma's door and then making her way around to the drivers side.

20 minutes later, she pulled up into her driveway and turned the car off. Immediately going around to her daughters side, Kate opened the door and unbuckled her seatbelt. Emma moved slightly, raising her arms up to her chest and rubbing her cheek. When Kate picked her up her eyes opened slightly to reveal a dark forest green and she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and leaned her head against her shoulder.

"Mu-mummy? It's...is it...you?" She mumbled quietly.

Kate felt a flutter in her chest, her dark curls falling across her face as she looked down at the light of her life. "Yeah bug, it's me." She whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

A loud resounding thump could be heard throughout the house as Kate's body connected with the carpeted floor below. "unghhh" She groaned, rolling over so that her face was no longer kissing the ground.

_It's Sunday...rest day. Why couldn't you just let me do that?_

Rubbing her hand over her eyes and through the dark tresses that riveled her patience, Kate sat up into a sitting position and then stuck her hand on the bed to help her balance as she stood up. Cracking her back as she made her way out of her room and sharply to the left to check on Emma.

She was sitting up reading in her bed with the lamp on the bedside table glowing dimly in the early hours of the morning. Kate leaned against the hardwood door, shaking her head slightly with a small smile on her face as she watched her daughter's forehead crease in concentration. After a few seconds passed she walked into the room and sat down on the edge of Emma's bed.

Emma looked up when she saw someone coming through the door and immediately recognising the figure as her mother. She gave her a big toothy grin, attempting to slide a little further under the covers.

"You are up early, bug. You okay?" Kate asked softly, leaning down and pressing a raspberry kiss to Emma's hand that was holding the blanket up.

Emma giggled loudly when her mother kissed her. Nodding 3 times quickly she pointed to the book that had slid further down the bed from all the moving around.

"Reading 'The Princess with the Frog' the one you read."

Kate reached for the children's book 'The Princess and the Frog' that was now much closer to her than Emma and she couldn't supress the smile that lit up her entire face. Turning back to her daughter, she tucked a few dark curls behind Emma's ear; running her fingers through a section of loose tendrils resting against her shoulder.

"You like this book then, huh?"

Emma nodded again a wide grin now identical to her mother's spread across her lips. Kate laughed loudly, her voice resounding throughout the room. "Me too." She winked playfully.

Standing up Kate walked over to the wooden book shelf and slid the book back into it's place before turning back around and waving her arms at Emma motioning for her to get out of bed.

"Let's go have breakfast. We have a big day ahead of us."

Emma squealed loudly as she jumped up from under the covers and swung her legs over the side of her bed. Kate shook her head, her eyes filled with mirth as she walked out of the room.

Following her mother into the kitchen; she grabbed a tupperwear bowl and spoon from the dishwashing rack beside the sink and made her way into the dining room before putting them on the table. Kate opened the fridge and pulled out the milk and juice; placing the juice on the table with a plastic cup and the milk next to the coffee machine. Emma then went back into the kitchen to grab her box of cereal but paused after she had taken the box from the lower shelf.

"You want cereal or fruit, mummy?" She asked, watching her mother as she fiddled with the coffee measurements.

"I'll cut up some rockmelon or something, honey. Go eat your breakfast."

Once she finished setting up the coffee machine, Kate walked over to the table and poured Emma some orange juice. Emma poured the cereal into her bowl herself, only then did Kate remember she left the milk on the bench. "One second." She told her, racing across to the bench.

After both of the girls had eaten their meals (Kate settled on watermelon with strawberries) and drank their morning beverages, Kate gave Emma a book to read and told her to sit on the toilet and wait for her while she had a quick shower.

When she was done wrapping a warm fluffy peach coloured towel around herself, she filled the tub up to just under halfway and waited outside the door but made sure to leave it open slightly in case she called out to her.

10 minutes later - Emma called out that she was finished. Kate then wrapped a white towel around her and helped her out of the tub, making sure to pull the plug out when she settled Emma on her feet steadily.

Clad in jeans and a dark purple turtleneck, Kate opened Emma's closet and pulled out a few dresses for her daughter to pick from. She chose a white and pink dress with yellow sunflowers scattered across the waist and bottom of the dress.

After brushing and parting Emma's hair into two pigtails, Kate tied her own hair up into a bun and pulled on a pair of old scruffy sneakers. Emma handed her her handbag and phone before spinning around 4 times in a row, holding onto the bottom of her dress as it fluttered around her shins.

"Emma, behave. You'll make yourself sick if you keep doing that." Kate warned her.

Kate looked over to the coffee table and spotted her pager and keys. She quicky jogged over to them and shoved them in her pockets before waving at Emma to follow her.

"Come on, bug. We're going now."

After a visit to her mother - who prodded her with unrelenting questions about; men "What about that cute anesthesiologist at the hospital?" and college applications for Emma "It's never too early to get started" oh and her career, of course, as well as many other interesting (painful) topics that she could think of.

Then Kate and Emma did a quick shop to pick up some essentials for the household (toothpaste, bread, generic soap) that she knew she wouldn't have any time to get later. Since she was pretty much almost always on call and looking after Emma didn't leave much time to do anything at all other than sleep - sometimes she didn't even get the liberty of that.

_God. I can't even remember the last time I dyed my hair._

Kate had to stop at the bakery on her way to their destination but besides that little detour, they made it with 5 minutes to spare. Which was a record for them if she was going to be completely honest.

**10am**

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Kate walked around to Emma's side of the car and opened the door. Unclicking her seatbelt, Kate was careful to not knock the box in her lap before helping her out of the car with a hand against her shoulder steadily. "You alright with those cupcakes, bug?"

Emma held the box tightly with both hands as she stood up onto the grassy footpath, away from the car and the road. She didn't answer her mother instead she ran ahead of her towards the front door of the house they had parked outside of. Kate locked the car before running quickly after her daughter and her apparent eagerness to reach the front door.

With both hands full - all Emma could do was stand outside the door and wait impatiently for Kate to knock on the door. Looking up at her mother she rocked back and forth on her heels in excitement.

"Hello? Anybody home?" Kate called out, knocking on the front door.

Almost immediately the door opened inwards and Emma was pushed aside by two sets of arms that were then wrapped around Kate's waist. "Aunty Kate!" They said in unison, squeezing her tightly.

Emma had a sour pout on her face at having been shoved away so roughly and was holding the box above her head. But the expression that had quickly appeared almost immediately fell away as a set of arms wrapped around her and gave her a big bear hug.

"Oh, look at you- you precious thing!" Jenny pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

Emma giggled moving the cardboard box down and closer to her chest before looking up at her. "We have cupcakes," She grinned, holding them up to her.

Jenny gasped, a wide smile now adorning her lips. "Yummy! I bet you picked out the best ones, Emma."

Taking the pink box that was being held out to her, Jenny stood back up to her full height and slipped her hand into Emma's and tugged her gently through the door. Kate pressed kisses to the tops of the two blonde's heads clinging to both sides of her body and then wrapped her arms around their shoulders, pulling them inside with her to follow Jenny into the house.

"You two have gotten so big!" Kate gasped.

The twins released her and took a step back grinning proudly.

"Being 7..." Alexandra held up 7 digits, "I grew like 5 inches over the summer, that's what daddy said!" she beamed.

"I grew like 6!" Jared puffed his chest out and took a step forward.

Kate laughed, her tongue poking between her teeth. "Great job, guys!"

Closing the door with her foot, Kate ushered the two young ones through the cluttered house amd opened the sliding glass doors to reveal the wooden patio deck.

Emma had taken up residence on Kevin's right knee gazing at the little bundle in his arms that was Sarah Grace. Her face glowing in awe whilst her left hand squeezed the front of his shirt in excitement. Kate plopped down beside Jenny, sitting on a deck chair and murmuring her thanks when she passed her a glass of much deserved wine.

For the next 20 minutes, Kate watched the children run around the backyard - back and forth, playing endless games of tag and hide and seek, even a sneaky game of chinese burns when Jenny was in the kitchen.

When Jenny called for the twins to make their way back up towards the house, Kate turned her head slightly so that she was able to look through the glass window and into the kitchen. Standing up, she held the glass of red to her chest until she made it safely inside and placed it down on the bench gingerly.

"Thanks for for doing this..." Kate began, sincerely.

Jenny shook her head as she placed the muti-coloured cupcakes in their respective little bowls. "It was my pleasure Kate, really." She turned towards her to give her a wide, warm smile.

Helping her dish out the sets of cupcakes, Kate placed one of them on the plastic playtable next to Kevin who was still nursing Sophia Grace. Jenny had the two in her hands immediately grabbed away by hungry children, laughing loudly and running off to sit on the edge of the patio together.

"Be careful not to get anything on your clothes!" She called out after them.

Kate turned around to see Emma waiting patiently behind her, her hands clasped together and a small smile on her face. Kneeling down in front of her daughter Kate held out the bowl to her, A lone candle with the number '6' on it flickering against the threat of the wind.

"Happy Birthday, Emma." Kevin grinned, blowing her a kiss from where he was seated. Trying to eat the cupcake with one hand as crumbs toppled down his dress shirt and attempting to nurse with the other.

Emma's forehead wrinkled in confusion as she thought for a few minutes before shaking her head. "You said it was on Monday,"

Kate laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"It is sweetie, but Aunty Jenny and Uncle Kevin have work and you have Prep class, remember?"

"Oh..." Emma said, wrapping her fingers around the edges of the paper plate.

"Make a wish, bug." Kate said softly, raising her free hand and gently stroking her daughters cheek with her thumb.

Emma squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds before blowing out the candle in one breath. Everyone erupted in cheer; Kevin tapping his wrist with his fork, Jenny clasped her hands together and smiled widely, the twins turned around to discover the source of the ruckus and joined in by throwing their hands - and plates - up into the air. Kate let Emma take the plate and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

**1 hour later**

Stuffing half a bagel into his mouth and then a swig of milk offered by his wife, Kevin pressed a kiss to her cheek leaving a watery smudge of milk across her cheek. She laughed, shoving him away slightly before pulling him back towards her by the collar of his work uniform. Straightening his shirt and adjusting his collar so that the flaps were facing down.

"Don't forget your jacket..." Kate said, grabbing the dark navy coloured material which had yellow block letters printed thickly across the back spelling PARAMEDIC.

She threw it at Kevin and he caught it with his free hand that had settled the glass of milk on the counter moments before. "I might see you Monday?" He asked

Kate nodded.

Feeling a tug on his arm, Kevin squatted down to be similar height to Emma. "What's up?" He asked her.

Wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, the fabric flowers on the material of her dress rustling against his bare arm. "Be careful..."She whispered, leaning her forehead against his.

Pressing a kiss to the top of head and then patting the top of her head once in endearment.

"I'm always careful."

Walking towards the front door with his bag slung over his shoulder, he pivoted at the last second to face them once more. "Maybe today I'll help a little girl just like you, Ems." He grinned, to which she returned.

Wrapping his arms around the twins and pressing a kiss to their cheeks in turn before heading out the front door and towards his car.

Kate watched the little family with a small smile on her face, wrapping her arms loosely across Emma's shoulders. Her forehead creased in the middle slightly as a few unwelcome thoughts filtered in and out of her mind.

_Does Emma need a proper father figure in her life?_

_What if I'm not enough?_

Gently squeezing her daughters shoulders and giving her a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She slid one hand down her arm and took one of her hands in her own. Looking up to Jenny, Kate wrapped her other arm around her friend's shoulders attempting to give her a one armed hug.

"Thanks for having us...doing this." She said quietly before releasing the blonde.

"Anytime, you know that."

Emma squeezed her mother's hand gently before trailing behind her towards the front door.

**_Kate was leaning against the dark cherry-coloured desk, the hard wood biting into the middle of her back the more she leaned away from him, trying to distance herself mentally and physically. Her arms crossed in front of her - protecting herself - protecting him. It didn't really matter anymore._**

**_The silence that filled the room bit into her heart, her nerve endings numbed and her mind was blank._**

**_"Gina's right. This can't continue anymore, Kate."_**

**_His words stung like the remnants of a slap._**

**_Kate flinched as if he had done just that. She tampered down her feelings in the hopes that the emotions colouring her insides didn't spill out of her mouth or across her face._**

**_His midnight blue eyes caressed her face but his words remained hard. Unshed tears withered in her eyes but she would not do this - she wouldn't cry in front of him right now. She wasn't weak._**

**_"Something like this coming out right now...nothing good could-" He attempted to continue._**

**_"Nothing good? Nothing good?! Are you freaking kidding me right now?" She interrupted him._**

**_Rick opened his mouth but she shook her head effectively putting whatever he was about to say on hold. Kate felt anger bubbling up inside of her effectively overtaking the hurt; her stomach churning and her voice cracking as she spoke (damn her). She took a step forward whilst motioning between herself and him with lightly shaking hands._**

**_"Are you telling me you really don't want us anymore?"_**

Jolting awake - it took Kate a couple of seconds to realize where she was. After the events of yesterday she wasn't entirely surprised her subconcious was recalling on past events. She really did wonder sometimes 'what could have been'.

Kate looked around at her surroundings her eyes spying many unoccupied beds, empty powerbar packets. One of the on-call rooms. Digging through the white cotton sheets until she saw the glow from her phone's screen and picking it up until it was in her line of vision. Squinting her eyes as the bright light attempting to blind her, her eyes slowly adjusting to the light after being closed for so long.

The little numbers displayed: 1:13pm.

With a huff, Kate rolled to the side of the single bed and swung her legs over the edge so that they touched the floor. Running her fingers through the birdnest she called her hair, Kate quickly tied it up into a loose bun. Looking down at her shoes still on her feet, she shook her head laughing at herself. She either slept with shoes on or she didn't sleep.

_There's never any time to take them off and put them back on anyway._

Just as she was pocketing her phone - her pager beeped at her insistently. Wiping her free hand across her face Kate attempted to wipe the sleep from her eyes.

_Well...at least I got to nap for an hour. That never happens._

Kate scanned what had been sent to her on the small screen of her pager. She was needed in the E.R due to a 4 car pile up - definitely an emergency with multiple victims and casualties in the center of the city. Many surgeons were on holiday leave and they needed as many hands on deck that could be spared.

Kate pocketed her pager and raced out of the on-call room as fast as she could. "Get out of my way!" She snapped, shoving at a bunch of interns blocking the middle of the hallway.

Tapping the elevator button four times, she threw her hands up in exasperation._ This freaking elevator is ridiculous!_ Spotting the door that led to the stairs, Kate shot through the swinging door and made her way down four flights of stairs finally arriving in the E.R, coughing and gasping for breath. I really need to drink so much more water. The E.R was filled with a mass of people - at least a dozen from the accident alone - not including the regular freak accidents and gun shot wounds they usually receive at least everyday.

Spotting Kevin coming through the double doors with a young girl on a stretcher, Kate raced over to him to him to calculate what her injuries were.

"...Suspected crushed or broken ribs, collar bone and pretty sure she has a tear in her aortic pump. She hasn't been awake since the scene." He rambled, counting on the fingers of his left hand as he recalled her injuries.

Kate shook her head at the sight before her, the young girl was luckily unconcious so she wasn't able to fully feel the extent of her injuries - that was the only good news. Gently wiping the long locks out of her eyes. "OR 3 is free, I'll be scrubbing in. Hurry! Go go!"

Kate made her way towards the OR to scrub in before the surgery, digging her hand into her pocket until she found the hard case that contained her phone, she called her mother quickly.

"Emma needs to be picked up in an hour and a half and I'm not going to be there. I got called into a surgery - would you be able to pick her up? If you bring her here she'll be able to have her afternoon nap or she can wait around in the daycare centre here with the other kids."

She stopped outside of the OR; Kate paced back and forth infront of the door as she waited for her mother's response.

"I can't today, Katie, I'm stuck at the office but I'll call your cousin Brooke. Her mother told me she got back in town 3 days ago. So don't worry I'll figure it out, okay?" She told her daughter.

Kate's head was spinning but one thing she knew - was that when her mother told her she'd sort it out, she'd do just that. She relaxed with a soft sigh, "Thanks mum, I'll call you in a few hours."

3 hours later - **4.30pm**

There was a lot more damage going on internally than they had hoped, as the girl had been hit whilst walking across one of the zebra crossings in the city and had landed in a garden flower-bed - that had somewhat cushioned her fall, she could of procured worse injuries had it not been for that.

Kate decided to call it a night when the young girl started coding twice throughout the surgery and she came to the conclusion that the girl was too weak to handle any more surgery right now, for the time being. And if she coded again - the next time she might not make it. Kate then made sure that they sent her up to the ICU to keep an eye on her and hopefully see if she can make it through the next 48 hours.

Making her way out from scrubbing, Kate's head was spinning...

The little girl on her table reminded her so much of Emma. She couldn't catch her breath and she could taste bile at the back of her throat. Racing towards the nearest bathroom - she barely made it into a stall when she threw up her stomach's contents. Most of it landing in the bowl but some of it landed on the floor and the edge of the seat. It was pretty much just burnt coffee, a bagle and bile, Kate wiped her mouth with a scrunched up piece of toilet paper before cleaning up as much of the mess as she could.

Standing back up onto unsteady legs Kate made her way towards the sink and cleaned herself up, swirling water around her mouth and spitting it down the drain, washing her face and hands. Staring in the mirror at herself she shook her head at how washed out she looked.

_Pull yourself together, Kate. You're a surgeon._

Exiting the bathroom she was heading towards the ICU when a hand grabbed her wrist. "Excuse me. I'm looking for my daughter she- she just had surgery and I-" The voice cracked, tugging on her arm to turn her around.

The man stared at her for a few seconds as if trying to place her, it felt like much longer though, his eyes widening when he had obviously placed her.

"Kate?..."

The man stood there looking as shocked as anything to see her here of all places. Kate opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, her eyes widened and she took a step back not quite understanding the situation that was unfolding. But she knew those blue eyes anywhere.

"Rick..."


	3. Chapter 3

- I have no muse, sigh.

_No. No no. Not now. I don't have time for this_.

Kate was just about to respond when there was a crash to her left further along the hallway; a woman with red hair stumbled over a lone mop before ramming her side into the cleaning trolley with all the grace of a newborn fawn.

It didn't take long and she was standing all too close to Rick, her perfume over powering the all-too small space between the three of them. Kate raised one hand in an attempt to cover her mouth surreptitiously, the waft very much like its owner; trying to choke everyone around it. Rick opened his mouth to speak again but this time was interrupted by the fiery harlot. _Come on, Kate. I'm sure she's a lovely person._

"Look nurse, our daughter just had surgery and we got told it was up here and-" she motioned between her and Rick, "Oh look at that... she's not here!" Rick gripped the woman's hand tightly, his grief-stricken gaze still locked on Kate.

Kate closed her eyes trying to muster up some sort of inner courage. She couldn't look at him. Much less into those eyes of his. The very same ones that had looked into her own so many times before; as they made love, caressing her body with gentle touches. They'd watched her unravel in ecstasy and when life had unraveled itself around her.

The other woman clutched at his side as if her life depended on it - fingernails digging into the worn flesh between his fingers. "So? Where is she?"She demanded, taking a predatory step towards Kate. "Meredith..." Rick said softly, moving his hand to her stomach and attempting to stop any damage that the over zealous actress was likely to cause.

Never one to back down when confronted Kate stood her ground, shoving her hands into her pockets before meeting the -obviously- distressed woman's gaze.

"If your daughter-" her voice struck, tearing painfully half-way through the common word. "...had surgery recently she should be up in ICU, Paediatrics unit. There is a sign at the end of the hall near the elevators on the right. It should point you to the right floor. I have- uh...to go. I'm late for surgery." And with a flurry, Kate rushed away.

_Escape escape escape._

_Don't cry. You're stronger than this. You don't love him anymore._

_Of course he had a child...it's been years, it'd be more illogical for him to not have a child._

_She couldn't let him have this kind of power over her still._

Pushing open the glass door, Kate went straight to the wooden racks that contained the various sized and coloured bags belonging to the children. She grabbed Emma's bright purple bag with a massive cartoon elephant on the front and slung it over her shoulder. Then walking briskly to the sign out counter, she bent down and scribbled her name along with other various menial details. The woman in front of her smiled gently at her, her dark red fish-ponytail sliding along her shoulder whilst she played with the pen that was currently occupying her hands.

"Lucy actually wants to have a moment with you, when you are free that is." She said softly, pointing out a woman with platinum blonde hair that was tied back in a loose ponytail, gentle ringlets framing her face.

As a set of arms wrapped themselves around her waist, Kate's heart warmed and her body immediately canted towards the familiarity. Squatting down in front of her daughter she framed her cheeks a small smile playing across her lips. "Hey bug, you ready to go home?" She asked her.

Emma's face lit up at those words, her rosy cheeks brightening.

Settled in the lounge room with the credits of their recent movie marathon playing in the background, Emma was laying on her back with an opened box of pizza on her lap. Having passed out into a food coma not even half way through the second movie.

Kate was finishing off her glass of wine as she picked up various things around the house and putting them back in their respective places.

Setting the broom against the wall in the kitchen, she took in the somewhat presentable house before she went back to the lounge room and picked Emma up, carrying her down the hallway towards her bedroom. Kate managed to bump her own hipbone on the hard wood edge of the door, stumbling yet not dropping her daughter between the doorway and the bed. With one hand holding the back of her neck securely and the other against the middle of her back as she set her down onto her bed.

_Do not wake sleeping child. Oh god._

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Kate brushed Emma's dark caramel locks away from her face before pressing a kiss to her forehead. Making sure that she was rugged up enough underneath the blankets and that the heater was working, she stood in the doorway watching her for a few more moments. Leaving the door slightly ajar, Kate returned to the kitchen and refilled her glass before setting about cleaning the lounge room.

The front door buzzer then started to insist on gaining her attention, shrill and repetitive like a sixteen year old teenager. With a sigh, Kate made her way to the door with one hand holding a half-empty pizza box and the other clutching her cooling wine. Blowing at a few loose strands that had fallen across her face and were sticking to her lips, she nudged the button near the door with her elbow.

"Who is it?" She rasped, her voice laced with exhaustion.

"Miss Beckett, it's Jonny. We have a long awaited parcel downstairs would you like us to bring it up to you?" The man on the end of the line spoke quickly, taking a quick breath at the end of his little speech.

Kate looked at her watch; 9.36pm. Usually they stopped running calls to the apartments around 7 unless there was an emergency or someone visiting. Clearing her throat, Kate nodded a few times before realising she needed to speak her answer.

"Yeah sure, no problem. Send it up I'll just be a minute." Kate spoke into the receiver before releasing the button and heading into the kitchen, placing the 2 items that had been occupying her hands.

Pulling her hair out of the bun that it had been in all day, Kate shook her hair out so that the layers fell into loose curls just below her shoulder blades, golden highlights gentling her appearance. Grabbing her wine glass and taking another swig before making her way back towards the front door, reaching it just as there was a knock against the hardwood.

Swinging the door open, Kate smiled softly as she was greeted with a large bouquet of red roses. "Thanks Jonny, you didn't have to bring them up tonight."

He took a few steps in and placed the flowers down on the table nearest to the door, a nervous smile flittering across his features as he looked between her and the door. A frown creased her forehead as she surveyed him. "Are yo-"She started, but was interrupted by a voice from her doorway.

"Yeah, he did."

Kate froze when another voice came from the doorway.

That- that raspy voice melted and froze her insides at the same time. Turning back towards the doorway, Kate's grip on the glass faltered as her fingers slipped down the edge, the red liquid shattering into a thousand pieces on her hardwood floors staining her feet in the amber coloured liquid.

Dark blue eyes met deep amber, black irises so large that they almost took over. Kate couldn't move, her eyes just pierced the man in her door way. The one that got away... The one that let her get away. What the hell was he doing here? In her house?

Pivoting at the waist, Kate shot daggers at Jonathan as her eyes grew wide; the turmoil inside of her spilling truth through her gaze. Nearly knocking the bunch of roses off the table, he muttered multiple apologies as he made his way past her and through the door, not once meeting her gaze as if frightened of what she may do to him. This was not how he expected the events to pan out tonight. Scurrying out the door he left the two of them to resolve their problems and make babies. He hoped.

"Kate, I'm sorry to impose on you. " he started again, taking a few steps forward.

Kate sighed, she knew she couldn't move without stepping on a piece of glass of some kind. How many years has it been and you can't even look at him? _Coward_.

"Here let me help you." He added, taking a few steps forward until he was less than a breath away from her. His coat fluttering at the backs of his knees, dark strands of hair falling into his eyes as he tilted his head giving her a small smile.

"Don't!" She inwardly shuddered, staring down at the ground, purposefully avoiding his gaze.

A crease flittered across his forehead, deepening whilst he studied her, his Kate. What happened to the carefree student whom lived for the thrill? Picked the lock on Pearl Jam's trailer? Who told him that she loved him whilst they spent the night lost in the middle of a tricks n mirrors maze.

Maybe it's just been too long.

Against her wishes, as most times, Rick moved forward and used his jacket to sweep up enough of the glass so that she could have a clear path. Kate watched the back of his head while he was nealed down in front of her, mind whirring a thousand miles a minute. Why was he here? Where was his wife/gf/daughter? And again...why was he here with her?

Once he finished, Kate stalked away from him and into the kitchen, foregoing the wine in the fridge and grabbing a beer from one of the chill baskets, popping open the lid on the edge of her - expensive - hardwood counters and sculling half the contents in one mouthful. Coughing as the bitter sludge burned down her throat, wiping the back of her hand across chapped lips.

A few seconds later, Rick was hot on her heels; hands still filled with her wine glass' broken contents, holding the neck of the beer bottle and pointing it towards the trash disposal unit next to the sink. Still not knowing what to say to him personally after all of these years. _You let me down? I am not sure how to love anymore because of you?_

Closing her eyes and tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear, she prayed he was just apart of her imagination._ Maybe i've finally lost it._

_**Kate was pacing Rick's office; half a turkey and mayo sandwich in one hand and a bag clasped in the other one. She glided around the sturdy wooden desk and leather chair, twirling around as she reached the door - her eyes taking in the hundreds of books that lined his walls. Just as Kate reached her hand out to examine a particular leather bound novel, the door to his office opened and a woman charged inside in a flurry; the blonde woman carrying a large white box with both hands, stumbling and spilling half of it's contents over the floor. Kate jerked away from the bookshelf as the they hurried in, stumbling as the box - and woman - collided with her; spilling paper and Kate's bags contents everywhere, still managing to clutch onto her sandwich.**_

_**"Oh sh-" The woman started, before she noticed that it was Kate that she had knocked to the ground.**_

_**Biting her tongue, Kate stood up and gave Gina a small smile, her eyes darting around to the contents now coating the office floor. Moving swiftly Kate put her sandwich onto the desk and stooped down to help her with the papers. She stopped; her hands filled with the loose paperbacks clutched to her chest tightly enough to likely elicit dozens of papercuts. Kate's eyebrow hitched up towards her hair line when she realised that Gina still hadn't moved from her position against the desk, her eyes staring down at the ground; a small stick with two little red lines on it.**_


End file.
